B minor

Foreword : updated September 2010

Much has changed since the events of September 11, 2001. Our nation has new and different enemies, I have new friends and a new home, and life has an altogether different feeling.

The internet was a proving ground for story sharing and discourse in the days after September 11. I was fortunate enough to have a website at the time and the following is what I posted in response.

Writing my experience down was a way for me to record my thoughts and avoid having to tell my story over and over. Surely there are thousands of stories just like mine. I shared mine, at the time, so that friends and family not physically near New York might have a more personal connection to the event.

Today, this little document remains a reflection of a 19-year-old on the brink of change – and the experience that would ultimately lead him to never stop asking “why?”

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Monday, September 17. 2001 – from New York City

This is my story. Though it accounts for nowhere near the amount of terror some have experienced in recent days, it is what I experienced. This is my way of sharing with friends and family where I was, what I saw, and what I felt in the hours that America came under attack on September 11, 2001. Writing has always been a great therapy (most significant next to music). Since I am still afforded no access to my personal belongings, including my music, this is how I am coping now.

First, let me say to each of you: thank you. After witnessing, firsthand, the worst act of terror ever committed on U.S. soil, I have found much comfort in the incessant support I have received from friends and family. I find myself in a continued state of shock, something I suspect will last for quite some time. Something about looking down 6th Avenue and seeing nothing in the sky just does not “click” with me. Though I know I have not felt terror in the way that those who lost loved ones and especially those who perished have, I know that I will forever be scarred by that dark Tuesday.

I commented once last week… ironically, not only has this been the most terrifying event I have witnessed, but it has certainly been the most unifying event I have witnessed. People have been brought together, nations have united, and New Yorkers have suddenly become polite. It is simply amazing. Not since the time of the colonies has this nation seen such a unified level of patriotism. I only hope that this continues to resonate in our generation; a generation that has known only peace and nothing of inconvenience for 20 years, and a generation that may be faced with one of the greatest struggles this nation has seen.

I hope that this retelling finds you well… It is most of my story, for now, though I will be revising and adding for several days. I most certainly welcome feedback, and would love to hear from everybody, as CNN no longer seems to fill the void of displacement. Please feel free to email me.

Monday. September 10. 2001

The day was spent continuing to get into the swing of things, as it was only the fourth day of classes for NYU. I had an early morning class, discussing the media in America. Little did we know that our entire syllabus would be changing because the biggest news story in decades would be occurring in less than 24 hours.

I spent lunchtime having peanut butter and jelly (they have a whole restaurant devoted to it!) with a friend, Julia, in the West Village. In the afternoon, I headed home to do laundry, take care of some organization, and then headed back to the Village for Chinese food at Suzie’s with Diana and Laura. By this time, nasty thunderstorms had set in for the evening.

I wasted a lot of time in my room on Monday night, talking on the internet, cleaning, and avoiding homework. I didn’t have class on Tuesday, so I didn’t feel too guilty about this.

After getting in touch with my friend Andrew to wish him a happy birthday, I settled in for the night, and went to bed. This was about 1AM.

Tuesday. September 11. 2001

8:50am – I remember the first time I looked at my clock.

I gather now that I was jarred from a state of deep sleep by the first plane hitting the World Trade Center (WTC). At 8:50, I was brought to full awareness by an unusually loud and bizarre siren which passed outside my window (and 12 floors below). I looked over at my roommate, Zack, who had also been awakened, and was staring back at me. I looked at him puzzled, and after a moment, we both dismissed the noise as part of the city.

I had put my head back on the pillow, and was on the road to sleep again, when our phone rang – single ring, so I knew it was a call from within the building. Zack answered, it was his girlfriend, Jessica. He came back in.

“Guess what?” he asked.

“What?”

“The Trade Center got hit by a plane.”

Read the rest of this entry »

I realize it’s been a while. Partially this has been by design. Partially this has been out of laziness. I have my iPhone app back to functional again, so I can write remotely. Will try to do that more this week.

I’ll pose one thought that has been plaguing me lately:

It’s unfortunate that the times in life when we’re loving life the most seem to be the times that go by the fastest.

I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions. Not because I think I’m not in need of modification or improvement, but mostly because I always thought that if I felt compelled enough to change something, I shouldn’t need to peg the change to an arbitrary date like 1/1.

That said, the pace at which the last 4 months have gone by has caused me to think maybe this is a good time to take a quick inventory of the things I’d like to do, accomplish or experience in the coming year.

MORE:
writing, photography, attention to learning, attention to friends, travel, exercise, cooking, openness to nonproductivity for the sake of resting, focus on the present

LESS:
nail biting, stressing, junk food, calendar management, focus on what’s next

Thanks for reading this past year.

Wishing you a spectacular 2009…

I came home for Christmas this year (as I do every year). I was unusually bored. It could be that I was procrastinating working on the job search. It could also be that many of the friends I had here are either not here any more, married, or both. More likely is the fact that I went from life at 150MPH to life in a slower lane when the semester ended.

At first this was frustrating.

Thinking about it now, though, I’m realizing that in two weeks, as I’m just finishing my first day of classes of the 2nd term, I’m probably going to wish I had boredom on the calendar. Wish I was back here right now. Funny to imagine.

I think it’s important to be bored every once and a while. It clears the mind. Forces you to decompress and relax. Boredom also causes you to appreciate the busy time, the time when you have tons to do, and helps you realize what parts of the busy time are most meaningful.

I was watching one of my favorite movies, “Stand By Me” while working on cover letters and resumes tonight. The movie ends with this quote:

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?

I used to think that was a pretty interesting quote. I partially agreed with it. I suppose it captures something about the truth in friendship that occurs at such an age. Thinking about it tonight, though, I realized I had an answer to the question asked. Yes, yes, I do.

I can go on about this more later, and I will, but I really do feel very fortunate to have come to school this year and to be in the section I’m in. I’ve made incredible friends in a short amount of time, and there are friendships that I’ve no doubt will last a lifetime. I’m not sure if it’s the connection around the shared experience, the genuine commonality around intellect and drive, or just luck – but there is a bond among people here that is truly great.

I gave a toast at a dinner party the a couple Saturdays ago. I had always said I perceived half the value in the mba program to be in the education and half the value to be in the people you meet (the network). I said at dinner that I’m starting to believe it may be weighted more heavily in favor of the people, after all.

This should surprise anyone who perceives HBS as having a stigma of arrogance or obnoxiousness. It did me. That stigma simply hasn’t presented itself (at least not in the level I thought it would – because surely you can’t rid the world of jerks entirely). But it has confounded me how genuinely good the majority of people are at school.

Anyway – long way of saying that I do feel like I’ve had friends as good since I was 12. I have them right now.

It is funny to think about life in increments. For instance, what was I doing last year at this time? I was stressed out about completing b-school essays, most of which I was still unhappy with, and most of which were due the first week of January. I was also stressing about producing a major component of the back to back republican and democratic presidential candidates debates, which also happened to be airing… yes, the first week of January.

Flash forward to this year and I’ve been through an entire semester already. And towards the end of that semester, prospective students with interviews started showing up in class. The cycle moves quickly and soon there will be another set of admits. Weird.

Currently, I’m staring down the barrel of the resume drop deadline for formal recruiting: which is the first week of January. Stressful, ya. But I signed up for this and I’m not really sure that I can complain. It’s a great position to be in.

Whenever I find myself in these types of spots – uncertainty on the horizon – I always find it helpful to look backward before looking forward. Think about where I was 5 years ago today. I had just started my first job. I was thrilled about being at a television network. I couldn’t have imagined ever leaving. And yet here I am, in an entirely differrnt place, completly enthralled by what I’m doing. That gives me great hope. Despite whatever worries me about what’s next, 5 years from now I will hopefully look back at today and think, why was I ever worried?