It is funny to think about life in increments. For instance, what was I doing last year at this time? I was stressed out about completing b-school essays, most of which I was still unhappy with, and most of which were due the first week of January. I was also stressing about producing a major component of the back to back republican and democratic presidential candidates debates, which also happened to be airing… yes, the first week of January.
Flash forward to this year and I’ve been through an entire semester already. And towards the end of that semester, prospective students with interviews started showing up in class. The cycle moves quickly and soon there will be another set of admits. Weird.
Currently, I’m staring down the barrel of the resume drop deadline for formal recruiting: which is the first week of January. Stressful, ya. But I signed up for this and I’m not really sure that I can complain. It’s a great position to be in.
Whenever I find myself in these types of spots – uncertainty on the horizon – I always find it helpful to look backward before looking forward. Think about where I was 5 years ago today. I had just started my first job. I was thrilled about being at a television network. I couldn’t have imagined ever leaving. And yet here I am, in an entirely differrnt place, completly enthralled by what I’m doing. That gives me great hope. Despite whatever worries me about what’s next, 5 years from now I will hopefully look back at today and think, why was I ever worried?
Have been home with the family this weekend. Finally feeling caught up on sleep for the first time since August. Feels good. Strange. But good.
Has also been good to catch up with high school friends here. Was thinking a lot about what life was like in high school and what, at that time, I pictured my life being like in the future. Certainly I don’t think I imagined myself in the spot I am today. But, more than that, I was thinking about the people – my friends – that made high school so great. Similarly, later, I could peg the experience of college to the people. I could peg my work experience to the people. Every time I’ve enjoyed something, it’s usually been because of the people.
Then I got to thinking – how life really is like a series of flash mobs. In the same way that people organize randomly for stunts, gathering instantaneously, performing some gag, and then dispersing. Life is filled with convergences of people. That convergence creates a context or an environment. It is in that environment that experience happens. And then people scatter. And the environment becomes a memory.
All this, I suppose, is a way of reconciling the fact that you can’t really go back to what was. Coming home is great, I love reconnecting with people, I love being at home. But there’s just something different. Age, people, circumstance. Different. Not bad, just different.
This post will wander around a bit…
Funny thing about the City of Cambridge. They have a very fickle trash collection policy. It is not very clearly articulated on their website, and every week, after trash collection, it is always fun to come home and play roulette: “which container will still be sitting there full on the curb today?”
Tonight it was the cardboard. No explanation why. Perhaps pizza boxes don’t recycle? One of my housemates suggested that it might be nice if they left handwritten notes explaining why they didn’t take it. I chuckle imagining that note.
It is turning to autumn here. Autumn is always a sentimental season for me. Usually I am in New York now, where I want to equate the smells of fall with the starting of something new, like school. This year, I actually am doing something new, like school. And as a bonus, the leaves here actually change colors. They haven’t peaked yet, but there are a few trees here and there on the walk to campus that have turned brilliantly.
This morning, going into our class building, I was attacked by the campus turkey. It’s been written about by the Boston Globe, and it has an attitude now. It chased me across the lawn as half the MBA class was crossing the lawn from Spangler to Aldrich and then tried to follow me into Aldrich. That was great. At least my blood was pumping for the first case this morning.
Walking over the river to make dinner tonight I started complaining to myself (as usual) about how tired I am and how the schedule here is kicking my ass, etc etc. Somewhere on the bridge I had one of those minor epiphanies that happens every now and again. If this were meant to be easy, it probably wouldn’t be that hard to get in here. This is supposed to be hard – that’s why I came here. So my adrenaline started pumping again and I feel like I did when I first got here. (Plus, finally the RC Plague is entirely out of my body).
So here’s to turning a new leaf on the year… a bright red leaf…
Several years ago, I had a blog. I didn’t write much, and I didn’t have much to write about. Things have changed. Back in November I started rebuilding my presence online. I didn’t really have time to blog regularly (nor was I ready to begin publishing my thoughts yet). As I went through the application process for school, I felt like I was taking on a second full-time job. And I decided that when I did return to writing, I wanted to do it meaningfully. So, here I am, slowly taking the covers off what will be the place where I document the next chapter of my life, and begin to move the raging debate that happens inside my head on a daily basis into a more public setting…
In the coming weeks, I will leave my job. As I do that, I will begin to write more. Through the summer I will talk more about the application process for school – hoping to shed some light on it for others, and also hoping that 20 years from now I can re-read and remember how insane it was.
At any rate, I’m happy to be back here. Hello.
I had drinks with my brothers tonight. All three of us live in Manhattan at the moment. This started about a week ago. I’m not sure how long it will last, but it is cool for the meantime. Last weekend, my youngest brother came and met me and a few friends at a bar. I haven’t lived in the same place as him (home) since he was in 5th grade. 5th grade! I can hardly remember what 5th grade was like.
I’m hoping to make the most of this situation, while it lasts.
One of the great things about Winter, and the cold weather that comes with it, is the coats. Everyone has to get bundled up. And that means more pockets to carry more stuff around. Back to carrying the ipod to work instead of just the shuffle. And the camera comes with me everywhere – which means more pictures being taken… always a good thing.